This will be a good reference through the years, particularly when it comes to emotional and identity development in teen years Offers some concrete strategies for dealing with the issues that arise from the origin stories of international adoptees and how they deal with unpleasant realities as they grow old enough to begin to really understand Also identifies some physical, emotional and cognitive developmental issues that come from extended institutional living The device of following five families conflated from a larger number of real situations to illustrate how some of the issues can play out behaviorally is very effective and valuable.
Worthwhile reading for anyone who has adopted, internationally or not I skimmed some of the international specific parts but the book overall is extremely insightful for anyone parenting a child with trauma i.
, anyone parenting an adopted child, regardless of national origin.
Excellent, empathetic and thoroughly insightful resource Cogen understands the adoptee s psyche, and know how to link every challenging behaviour to its source i.
e fear of abandonment and an internalised sense of inadequacy Thoroughly engaging and practical, Cogen consistently refers to the experiences of five international adoptees she worked with from their toddler aged adoption, t through to adulthood Using their personal experiences, she itemises common problems adoptees face, and provides compassionate and practical means of support Common problems were slotted under neat, accessible, user friendly headings I enjoyed the many snippets of conversations between parent and child, as they provided insightful and pointed examples of how one might conduct conversations with Full of practical tipsI really appreciated how the author mixed examples, practical tips and research together to help adoptive families I probably over highlighted and will come back for the tips, hints and tricks for years to come One thing that she does point out at the end, but that we can forget when we re bogged down in the middle of the book, is that these situations are just one part of your life with your adoptive child There will be successes and great days and perfectly normal periods of life So keep that in mind while reading.
Will continue to reference this wonderful resource as my son grows up
Wonderful resource book through the years of raising adopted children I highly recommend this book for adoptive parents.
✓ Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years ✓ I loved it It seemed based on the author s experience and hard research The author has hosted first year home groups for new international adopting families for years She had so many practical tips and exercises to encourage bonding between parent and child, as well as many stories to help understand the reasons behind certain patterns of behavior in adoptees She had the positive idea of their behavior being related to their survival techniques that worked pre adoption but no longer help them post adoption I also loved her idea of continually discussing the adoption story from the adoptee perspective and to do away with Gotcha Day, replacing it with the three pictures on a laminated page for the young child one pre adoption, one of the adoption, and then one post adoption,and to refer to it as the Big Change So much of their behavior is connected to that d From the absurd to the sublime You get a little of everything You can cherry pick this tome for information and decide which advice is useful for your unique situation I won t be refilling anyone s glass with Parent Juice or putting on trauma goggles or playing Parent on a Leash but I will remember to talk with my child about the adoption story from my child s point of view rather than mine As in, yes, a long anticipated day for me but a terribly confusing and frightening one for her I might not have had that perspective without this book.
I might not have considered that birthdays and Mother s Father s Days could be complex and that there might be ways to alleviate the confusion prior to the day in order for the
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